Never
by Liebling
Summary: Love, she laughed, was really not so difficult after all. Love was perfect.' (RonHermione)


  
  
**Author's Notice:** This is, wow, odd? Very...stream of consciousness. Someof the italics (the strange little phrases) aren't song lyrics, I made them up (I knew somebody would ask. :) So they're really not "part of the story" does that make sense? Anyway, Hermione/Ron. I really believes it captures her spirit and that's why I love this. :) This is caused by me seeing Shrek II today with the fam and being all like, love is awesome! Lol. It's a feel-good fic, it really is :) It has its angsty parts...but it's really just FEEL GOOD. 

_oh it's a magical thing  
when the sun is shining down on me   
and this is such a beautiful place  
don't want to miss a minute of today.   
it's so magical.  
martina mcbride_

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Never was a very scary word. You could say, for example. _I'll never love again_. But everyone says that...well, most everyone. Everyone says it and everyone believes it, for awhile at least_. Oh I'll never love again_...oh, yes you will! _I'll never love again_...never love him again. Never was a very scary word. And never** never **lasted.

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She had never been one of those girls who thought she would have it all. Wedding dresses...creamy white were so pretty, so pretty, girls like her didn't think about vanilla colored wedding dresses, with lace and satin. Maybe she would grow up and be brilliant...always brilliant, she figured maybe she would work for the Ministry, go back to Muggle London..._I miss it so much._

She had never been one of those girls who went for Harry Potter. Harry James Potter with his tousled black hair and emerald eyes, he looked so much like his Mother. It seemed like every girl, even Moaning Myrtle, was madly in love with Harry Potter. You'd hear the first years in the corridors: "Did you hear about Harry? I heard he saved that girl. I wonder if he carried her in his arms and held her hand, oh he's _so_ dreamy." But no, that sort of well-appreciated heroism had never impressed her. Nor had his green eyes, as beautiful as they were. He was such an orphan, who would want him...who would want someone that perfectly imperfectly?

She had never been one of those girls to cry over not being asked out to the Three Broomsticks on a frosty Saturday Night. She had never been someone who cried often. She thought it ever so pointless. Why cry...she always thought, it doesn't solve anything. Some people, she figured, looked good when they cried. Their eyes would water and wet the lashes...dark and sparkly eyes. Hers, on the other hand, made her look like a mess. _Such_ a mess. And she was already a mess anyway, with knotty brown hair and thin wrists no boy would want to hold.

She had never been one of those girls to fall for a guy just because he called her beautiful. Beautiful was such an empty word when you were a girl like her..._a girl like her_. Sometimes, she'd look in the mirror and say in a near whisper...'No boy will ever call you beautiful. No boy will ever call you beautiful because you're not.' And just as she was not beautiful, she never would understood people who fell for empty words and cliche phrases. "You're so beautiful..." real people would never say things like that in saccharine tones, and real people would never kiss upon mountain tops and feed each other chocolate covered strawberries. Real people, she figured, were really not so beautiful.

She had never been one of those girls who believed in God. Christian..._oh so Christian_. Everyone has a soul mate, even you. Everyone has a soul mate...you can love everyone, everyone. But you can't, she said bitterly to herself, sometimes you love people and they can't love you back...like Ron, she thought once more. Ron is a nice boy he's just so young...so young, he doesn't know about love. Not like I do.

She had never been one of those girls to go to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum. Krum for short and Vicky if you were Ron. And yet...there she was, walking down the twirling staircase on his arm completed with sky blue robes and shiny hair, looking at the one boy whose arm she'd never be on. The boy with the jealous grin on his face as he looked at her, and she knew at that moment that he wanted her...wanted her to be his girlfriend. Wanted her because she was Hermione Granger and she was talented. Wanted her because he loved her. But they were so young back then...fourteen, fourteen, fleetingly fourteen.

She had never been one of those girls who believed in kissing. Well, she didn't mind the idea of kissing although it was hard to fathom how she, Hermione Jane Granger, would be comfortable enough with a boy to allow him to kiss her. Comfortable enough to dive in and kiss him right before she opened the door and took her seat in Charms. That was such a strange thing...kissing, it seems so scary, so foreign, so perfectly imperfect. And what if when that boy, that special boy, went in to kiss her and she tilted her nose the wrong way...or what if you weren't supposed to tilt your nose at all? What if your lipgloss was too sticky, or your lips too chapped. What if when he kissed you freaked out and your arms went flailing and not around his neck like they were supposed to go. And, what scared her the most, what if he loved you so much it didn't matter how you kissed, or which way your arms went, or if your lips tasted like icy water. What if there was someone out there for her who could love her...love her just the way she was.

She was never one of those girls who fell in love quickly. Dived right in..._oh I'm falling for you, falling for you. I'm falling for you and I think we should be together forever._ No, it was safe to say she had never believed in love. She had believed in her parents and in the summer of her third year they had divorced...irreconcilable differences. How could her Mother love her Father and then just...not love him anymore? Well, she thought diplomatically, her Mother did cry an awful lot. _Charles...I'm sorry, Charles, I miss you, Charles.._.Love was such an iffy thing, love...love, what did it mean? And then one day, she woke up and she realized love was Ron...rather, she put it together...I love Ron, I love Ron and maybe we can live happily ever after.

And all of a sudden a light came through the sky. Yellow yellow yellow, sunbursts and fireworks. Hearts and peace signs. Giggles and tears. All of a sudden someone who had lost faith completely...regained it. Regained it so quickly, quicker than snapping your fingers or stomping your foot. All of a sudden, everything was so perfect and the world clapped. Clapped for her. _I'm on stage and everyone's cheering for ... on stage and the only voice I hear is yours._

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"For once in my life I am truly happy. Truly happy because I can say, say to you right now that I love you. I love you lots, and I'm not scared anymore."

"I love you too..."

Love, she laughed, was really not so difficult after all.

Love was perfect.

_I think I'm ready for my happily ever after now. I'm ready for you._

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_Oh, I'll never love again...oh, yes you will! Never **never** lasts._

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